Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
