4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
