Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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