come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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