I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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