I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
