omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
