Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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