Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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