she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
