I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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