mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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