you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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