According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
