it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Randomize
