hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
