How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
