Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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