You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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