Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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