I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
