No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
