Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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