Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
