That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
