i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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