who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
