Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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