Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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