dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
