if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
