I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
