I think im going to throw up on grandma
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
