His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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