I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
