Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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