Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
