i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
