He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
