Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Randomize
