How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
