it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
