How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
