mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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