life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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