i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
