You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
