im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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