Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
