yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
