Fuck appropriateness.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
